I love my family! I love my siblings from the family of my youth and I adore my kids and husband.
A strong family doesn’t just “happen.” It certainly takes daily effort of prioritizing people and good habits that make a family cohesive and loving. It is beautiful and sometimes tricky, but always worthwhile. Not everyone is going to be supportive and loving all the time, but as we strive everyday to make home a place of refuge from the storms in other parts of our lives, then home really can be heavenly.
We’ve had moments of heavenly and moments of no-where-near-heavenly and I think all of it is a part of being human! However, these are some fantastic dinner habits we use everyday to keep our family strong.
- Everyone helps! Everyone in the house has chores! Everyone in the house helps clean up after dinner. Does that feel like it is a couple topics? Because the main motivating factor is this: we all contribute to the whole! We are a team and our home is a place that we keep clean and ready for the next party, event, and especially time together! What does this look like? Well after dinner, everyone works on dishes, wiping counters, putting away food or clutter until the kitchen is ready for the next day. It takes anywhere from 10 minutes to more for a holiday meal. Setting up this habit took daily coaching of kids and encouraging participation, until it became an accepted part of our family culture. So if you are just starting…be prepared for a couple weeks of daily rallying until it becomes a strong habit. We have great articles here and here on chores for a harmonious family!
- Eat dinner together as a family! There are amazing conclusions from studies which have weighed the benefits of families eating together! This one habit of eating together as a family is hugely influential in major ways. Some of the ways include: children doing better in school and family members less likely to participate in dangerous behaviors such as drugs and alcohol. Furthermore (certainly timely today) families who eat together have fewer cases of anxiety and depression! Wow! That’s a lot of benefit from one meal! So worth it! Check this out if you want to read more!
- Highs and Lows at the Dinner Table: Obviously a strong family needs more than to just eat together, we need to engage and converse with each other over that meal! Every family has varying levels of talkative people versus reserved, so an easy way to include everyone in the conversation is to go around the table and give around 90 seconds each person to talk about their high and low of the day. I have learned a LOT from these conversations. I have learned what is bothering my kids and what they love! Some things were surprising. I have heard that there were mishaps with teachers or an issue at work, that I otherwise would not have heard. It gives the whole family a chance to listen to each other and empathize with the wonderful and the terrible! When my kids were quite a bit younger, we sent around a large wooden spoon as a “microphone” so even the younger kiddos knew to recognize whose turn it was to speak! This habit is a great one for connection!
Family is one of the best blessings of life! It is this beautiful microcosm of joy and drama! You can help make your family culture wonderful with these simple and effective habits! Good luck wrangling your best blessings! You got this!
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