I want to teach my children to clean up and learn responsibility, but how can I do it when they are so young?
I am SO glad that you asked!!!
At about 18 months your little people are primed and ready to help out around the house!! Here is a list of 10 ways your 18 month-5 year old can help out around the house. Some of these chores will be daily, while others may be weekly or on a as-needed basis. Regardless, the sooner we have our kids start helping out, the sooner it will just become second nature to them to lend a hand!!
1. Clear their plate after a meal—even if it’s glass, just help them take it to the sink, or rinse it off and help them stick it in the dishwasher. This is a great chore because they have 2-3 opportunities each day (depending on your eating habits) to do it. This is the start of a life-long endeavor of cleaning up after oneself. After dinner if any of my kids have gotten up from the table to play and their plate is still there I always ask, “Have you finished with dinner?” To which they invariably reply, “Yes.” I then follow up with the question, “Why can’t I tell?” They then know to clear their plate.
2. Loading and unloading the dishwasher. This is one that I have all of my kids do, but will have a bigger kid help my 2 year old. My 4 year old is a champ at getting this done. He does need help with putting things away that go in higher cupboards.
3. Helping clear up dinner. Putting away at least 1 thing. We always say, “Did you put something away for the family?” Salad dressing, BBQ sauce, veggies or salad to be put in a Tupperware, whatever it is, my kids know they need to put something away for the team.
4. Wipe down door knobs and doors—this is a favorite of my kids when they are little. It’s right at their height, they feel big while others are working around them too. This has also become a more frequent need due to the pandemic, so get out the disinfectant spray and a washcloth and get to it!!
5. Clean up their own spills—they will need help with this at first, but will quickly catch on. I decided early on that I would try my best not to get mad at my kids when (not if) they spilled their food or drink. I never want my kids to think that their spilled food was more important to me than them. Instead we just say, “Ok, clean it up!” They grab a towel or broom and get after it. The younger ones may need a little more help with wiping up until it is dry.
6. Bathroom cleaning helper—Every Saturday we do a deeper clean of our bathrooms and my kids rotate who is in charge of this. (We will discuss chore charts in a different post) Whichever one of my older children is in charge of the bathrooms takes my 2 year old along and he wipes down the counters and cleans out the sinks. The bigger kids will help wipe too if it is particularly dirty. This helps instill team work and responsibility for both kids involved. And who doesn’t love to have a little company while you’re cleaning? 😉
7. Help with Laundry. This will look different based on the age of your kid. My 2 year old loves putting the dirty clothes in the washing machine while I hand them to him. He pours the soap in the little compartment, closes that compartment and pushes the “Start” button. He also helps change the clothes over to the dryer. He then helps put clothes away in drawers. This will help start the habit of putting clothes away in their room. This one tends to be the hardest for me as my youngest 2 boys will haphazardly pick up their piles of freshly folded laundry and ruin my beautiful handiwork. I try to help them see how to pick it up. We are a work in progress. 🙂
8. Making dinner or baking. This one takes a little bit more patience. Look at opportunities for them to push a button to turn on the oven, or put the salad bowl on the table. Let them mix the pasta, or sprinkle a bit of salt in the water. I find that if I say, “You take a turn first and then Mommy will take a turn,” I avoid aggravation from my youngest. When he is done with his turn I say, “Mommy’s turn,” and he is happy to share. Baking is magical…and messy!! So remember to have them help clean up afterward too!!
9. Cleaning up toys. Sing the song, shake your shoulders while you walk, count the toys as they go in the bin, whatever your flavor make sure to have your littles participate in cleaning up their own toys. We will often try to “Beat the timer” and clean up the room before a 5 minute (or 2 minute, whatever you choose that day) goes off. You can even encourage them to do a secret something for a sibling or parent and have them clean up something for someone else.
I would also extend this rule of cleaning up toys to friends’ houses as well. I am always so grateful, and impressed when my kids’ friends help them clean up before they leave my house after a playdate. So I make sure my people are doing the same elsewhere.
10. Make the bed. This may be obvious and I have spoken about making the bed before, you can find that here. It is worth mentioning since even the youngest kids can arrange their blankets in a tidy way inside of their crib. It’s a great way to get something done before the day has even really started. If you are not in the habit of doing it, give it a try for a month, see if it doesn’t make you feel better to see less chaos in your room! It doesn’t take long to help your young ones make their bed, and the sooner you do it, the quicker they will get in the habit of it.
A note on patience. It can be hard to wait for your child to do something in 10 minutes when you can do the thing in 2. Let them. Decide that what would normally take 25 minutes may take 45 minutes. Think of it as an investment. There is a time and a place to hurry them along and you will know when that is. However, when it just feels more convenient for us to quickly get something done instead of taking the time to invest in our children learning responsibility, that convenience has a price tag of its own. Usually it adds up to reluctant or lazy kids that will find it difficult to decide to clean up later on. So hum a tune, say a prayer, or twiddle your thumbs, but don’t just take over for them!! I promise it will pay off!!
Also, as a mom of 6 kids I will say that each of my kids are VERY different with different levels of excitement for helping out. We are not perfect, and my house is plenty messy pretty often, however, when I see my kids choosing to clean something up before my asking them, or when I see them helping someone else to clean up without having been told it is an amazing feeling!!!
This is, of course, not an exhaustive list. These are just the things that we try to have our younger kids participate in regularly. Maybe just try to incorporate 2 of them into your routine this next week! I promise that this is an investment that will pay off in dividends!!!
Kayleen
