I had 6 kids in 10 years. That is a lot of diapers, nursing, late nights, pregnancy sickness, messes to clean up, lessons to teach, and bums to wipe. It has also been a lot of uncontrollable giggles, first smiles, learning how to walk then run, learning the joy of sibling love, and random tackling hugs from littles. Honestly, a lot of it is just one big blur.
My youngest is now almost 3 and a half and I miss having a little babe to catch my kids’ attention and remind them to slow down and smile at somebody. It was so easy to remind them to be kind to one another when a baby was present. Babies are magic. People naturally soften around them. Voices take on a kinder tone, touches are gentler and hearts melt at their delightful coos and gurgles. And while I would like to say that having a baby in my home really helped my kids to be kinder, it really helped ME to be kinder as well. It is hard to be mad at a tiny human. Sure, they wake you up in the middle of the night and spit up all over any clean clothes you were wearing, but you are taking care of them and meeting their needs. Helping them learn new things and receive love from them so easily. In just a few short years they learn how to talk and suddenly the sweet baby that you were cooing over is now talking back to you and knows everything. I have heard myself saying, “Man, I wish I were 10 again and knew everything!”
I have always had a malfunctioning filter. Most often if I think a thing it will come out of my mouth whether or not it should. I have found that this is not ok when you’re a parent. When you hear your kids say the exact things that you have said and it suddenly sounds mean, it is sobering. So, I guess this is what it means to be the adult. Saying nice things, even when you aren’t thinking them. I just have to remember that my words are heard. They are remembered, and often by small people that may not understand their full meaning, or the sarcasm behind them. I guess if I want to shape kind humans, I have to be a kind human as well. And while this may sound obvious, I think most of us want our kids to be the nice kids in class, or on the playground. We want our kids to be the ones to help people pick up their dropped books or offer to share their lunch with someone that doesn’t have one (is that even a thing anymore??). This all starts with a safe place at home in which it is largely our responsibility to set the tone of kindness.
So, when my 7 year old says something sassy, if I respond to her in kind, I know that her behavior will not change. When my 10 year old has a bad day and takes it out on all of his siblings, I can offer an escape for him and a kind word. Even though I may want to scream, “JUST BE NICE!!!” It will not have the desired effect. All of this to say, the responsibility of adulting can feel daunting sometimes, but hopefully we learn to be kinder humans while we model kind behavior for our children. And don’t forget that an occasional time out may be in order for you. I hear that your closet is a great place to chill for a minute or 10 and remind yourself that you’re the adult in the relationship. Because before we know it, they will be adults too and will be glad that we showed them how to be a kind one! Good luck my friends!
Would you like this positivity in your inbox? 🙂 We will email you a couple times a month so you can see the new posts! Don't worry we also don't like spam!
By submitting this form, you are consenting to receive marketing emails from: . You can revoke your consent to receive emails at any time by using the SafeUnsubscribe® link, found at the bottom of every email. Emails are serviced by Constant Contact
Kayleen
