Having five children has been illuminating for talent discovery. Each child is beautifully unique and brings their own quirky personalities to the table. This is true in your family too right? Mix those personalities with the aptitudes and certainly limitations of the parents and before you know it, talents begin to blossom.
Both my husband and I are musical, so there is no surprise that each of our 5 kids play the piano and sing. We worked it into our family culture and their daily lives (more on that here). However, talent discovery cannot merely be limited to what you can do as a parent. We have to stretch into the areas our children’s talents may go! This is where they find joy! Has anyone else been puzzled before by this process as I have?
When our children are ages 2-5 we begin to introduce them to skills, games and talents to see what sticks. (More for that age here) We encourage them to explore and play and see what excites them. There are Legos and swim lessons and all kinds of dance. There is mind expanding book reading on dozens of topics from the library! Maybe you have an amazing mathematician or a killer rugby player! We all know of dads who have thrown a football with their son only to discover that he is actually talented at drawing or baking! What about the girl put into ballet who turns out to be a fierce soccer player or amazing skateboarder. Here is the fun and the frustration all at once. It is a challenge to discover and a beautiful process too. I guess I am just hoping that we as parents will be open to it!
Let me share with you the rollercoaster of talent discovery from when I was a teenager. 🙂
I grew up in the county of Los Angeles in a darling community that was wonderful for families. I had taken some dance, some gymnastics and some piano lessons. I had even been on a horse vaulting team for a few weeks (that’s another story). When I was a freshman, I heard of a new school opening in Los Angeles, a high school for the arts. I read about it and was star struck. I excitedly wanted to audition! However, in the confines of my own mind, I considered the distance to the school and the situation of my family with 9 kiddos and reached the conclusion that it would not be possible for me to attend. So before exerting any effort I had dismissed it. However the idea still buzzed in the back of my mind occasionally demanding attention. I was out of my depth with how to even make this dream a possibility. By my own young logic, I knew neither one of my parents would be able to get me to the school with so many other demands on their time. Every time the idea percolated to the front of my thoughts, I pushed it back, because it was impossible.
One particular day as I was riding in the car with my dad, he mentioned school and classes. In a moment of glib desperation, I quickly released the restless thoughts about the new school forming and how I had dismissed the possibility weeks ago knowing it would put a strain on our family. My dad rather dramatically slammed on the brakes, turned to me and pointedly said “Kimberly, if you want to attend that school, you audition! If you make it, we will get there.” I knew he meant it.
In this small moment, my dad removed my barrier and I took a step forward!
He heard my dream and was open to it. This made a huge difference. I had only my 14 years of experience and had dismissed it, but now I looked at all the possibilities. All of this happened because someone believed in me and said they would support me.
Weeks had passed without any preparation, and now I scrambled to prepare. I filled out paperwork, got letters of recommendation, and researched monologues for auditioning for the theatre department. Boldly, I wrote one of my own monologues. I think that creativity and a bit of naiveté worked in my favor. Much to my delight, a few months later, we received a large packet in the mail announcing my acceptance to Los Angeles County High School for the Arts.
I think I shone with wonder and delight for a week! My dad was also bursting at the seams with pride. I was discovering what could happen with dreams, scrambling and work!
True to his word, my dad got me there. The school was 22 miles from our community and I would leave the house at 6:30 every morning to ride a commuter bus to live this dream! And it was a dream. I took classes ranging from Improvisational Movement to Shakespeare. I rubbed shoulders with other enthusiastic creatives and it was magical. Almost everything was a delight and a tremendous amount of work and I thrived! I returned home every night around 6 p.m. and worked on homework until I was bleary eyed and would do it all again the next day. I LOVED it!
There are many lessons that we all learn from High School and just from living, but one thing I learned from this experience is the power of a parent believing in you. My dad’s simple spoken line of support gave me the confidence I needed to try!
In raising my 5 kiddos, or perhaps in observing what makes them shine, I have learned to support their dreams. This week, my 17 year old son is at a volleyball camp. He LOVES volleyball. Over the years he has played soccer, football, basketball, been on a swim team, learned piano, calculus, ballroom dance and is a talented singer, but he LOVES volleyball. So while I have very little experience with volleyball, I love volleyball with him and cheer him on!
Often when I drop my kids off to the activity of their choice, whether it be dance or soccer, I say to them: “Remember, not everyone gets to do something they love so much, so get out there and work hard and be amazing.”
If you get to the end of this article and feel a bit nostalgic wondering if you have missed the moment for you or your child…I am here to tell you, you haven’t! Talents become exposed at different times and thank goodness! I know a talented sculptor who tried to express herself in clay for the first time at nearly age 40. She is jaw-dropping amazing! This year I discovered I love pickleball and I have never been overly adept at sports with a ball. Who cares I LOVE it now! Did you know that Stan Lee came up with the idea for Spiderman when he was 40? I have another friend who started to play the piano at age 42 and she now accompanies her church on Sundays. It’s not too late! 🙂
Discovering talents, skills and joyful hobbies is a lifetime pursuit. So carve out a little time for exploration for you and your kiddo and then be a magical spark of encouragement. You got this!
“Remember, not everyone gets to do something they love, so work hard and be amazing!” 🙂
