Last week we met up with some friends and took all of our kids to the pool. We stayed for hours just swimming and enjoying the summer sun. At our recreation center we had come into the indoor pool to use the diving board. Our 5 year old was having so much fun jumping and enjoying his new-found freedom having honed-in his independent swimming skills just recently.
After having watched him jump off the diving board several times, I suddenly realized that I hadn’t seen him for a couple of minutes, and while I know that he can swim now, he is a new swimmer and I still pay attention to him in the pool! So I stood up and started walking around looking for him, not in a panic, but definitely searching in earnest. His red hair is usually so easy to spot in a crowd, but with it being wet from the pool, a little trickier. Just as these thoughts are going through my head, I turn to see a little boy sitting next to a teenaged-boy totally chatting it up with him. My 5 year old had made a friend–with a 16 year old. I sat watching for a moment, certain that the teenager was just looking for an escape from this little boy that wouldn’t leave him alone. I was ready to swoop in and release him from the commitment that he obviously didn’t realize he had entered into once he smiled back at my little guy that immediately engaged him in conversation. Instead I waited. My little guy stood up and trotted to the diving board as the teen watched and cheered him on. My guy got out of the pool and excitedly gave 2 thumbs up for his award-winning cannon ball, to which the teen responded with 2 thumbs up as well. I was charmed.
I watched their sweet interchange with a smile on my face, totally impressed by this teen that just let my little guy impress him. The kid was obviously there with some friends of his own, but he kindly gave my guy the attention that he sought.
At one point, They both were in line to go off of the diving board and the teen put out his hand to give my little guy a high five, without skipping beat, my little guy grabbed his hand to hold it–and the teen just held his hand back. It was awkward, and adorable!!!
This little interaction lasted probably all of 10 or 15 minutes. My big kids wanted to go back outside and so my husband went to go get our 5 year old to join us as well. My little guy turned to his new-found friend and said, “I’m going to go outside now!! Bye!!” Gave the kid a high-five and left with my husband. Once they had left, I walked over to the teenager that I had originally assumed wouldn’t want to be bothered by my little boy. My little boy that assumes that everyone is his friend. I tapped him on the shoulder and said, “Hey, thanks for making my kid feel special. Seriously, I appreciate your kindness!” To which he replied, “No worries, he is a cool little dude.” We parted both feeling good.
Can you imagine had I just intervened right away and told my 5-year-old not to bother the big kids at the pool? He would have lost out on the opportunity to learn how to make a new friend, and I would have falsely made him think that teens don’t care about him. I also would have planted the idea in that teen’s head that he doesn’t need to be nice to the 5-year-old at the pool, even the mom doesn’t expect him to.
Isn’t it amazing that it turned out so much better than I thought? I wonder how many other things would blossom beautifully if we just allowed them to play out naturally before rushing to the rescue. There is good in the world, let’s not forget that!! Also, let us be the good!!
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Kayleen
