When our oldest son was a baby I didn’t know what to do about Santa. Did you even know there was anything to do about Santa? I felt it. Do we teach him about Santa? Do we not? What’s the focus we wanted in our home for Christmas? Maybe you’ve had a similar dilemma. We decided that we wouldn’t mention Santa to him. We centered our Christmas celebrations around Christ and His birth. He was so young anyway, it didn’t seem to matter.
Then one day he came home from a friend’s house, he was 3, maybe 4 and he said, “Santa is coming to our house soon!!” I was surprised to hear him say it, but not really. I had never mentioned Santa to him, but I never negated his existence either. I just let it be. Such an interesting social experiment that I had unwittingly engaged in. I wasn’t bothered that he had learned about Santa, I just wasn’t sure how to go about talking about him since…my family believes that Christmas is not about Santa and presents. My husband and I know a couple of people that believed in Santa for a long time–longer than may seem age-appropriate. Once they found out that he was not real, they began to question other things in their lives that their parents had taught them. I did not want to take advantage of my childrens’ sweet, believing hearts. Please know that I also didn’t want to take away their opportunity to believe in magic either. Tricky spot to be in. Overall, I didn’t know which way to go, so I chose to remain silent, neutral. I realize that this is not the norm, but I also love black licorice, so I am used to walking on the wrong side of the road in social circles.
One day, my oldest, he was 4 or 5, got into my car after we had just gone grocery shopping and seen someone from the Salvation Army ringing a bell and asking for money. While he buckled his seatbelt he asked, “Why doesn’t Santa just get people without any money the things that they need for Christmas?” And that, my friends, was the very question I had wondered as a child as well–not at 4 or 5, but still. It caught me off guard and I gave some, “I’m not sure how it works…” answer and was haunted by it for the rest of the day.
A few years later when we decided to let him know the truth about Santa, we chose to give him the challenge of becoming Santa himself. We told him, and our other children, in turn as they reached the appropriate age, to give him the charge of fulfilling wishes in his corner of the globe. Leave an envelope with a few dollars in it for someone in need. Put away the grocery cart for someone else. Buy a small gift and leave it on a doorstep. Engage in the work of Santa and feel the true magic of Christmas.
I have reflected on this experience several times and how I allowed everyone else to teach my child something upon which I was unprepared to make a decision. I have since decided to be the teacher. I realize that my kids will learn several things outside of my home, both things that bother me and things with which I agree. If we choose not to teach our kids something, the world will teach them. Let us choose to be the teachers. Let’s have the hard conversations, even if we don’t have all the answers, our kids are worth the wrestle and investment!!
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Kayleen
