The school year is quickly heading toward its close and I have a 5th grader. If you don’t know what that means, then let me tell you, the puberty and sex talks are a-coming! I have shared about how we introduce the the idea of sex and procreation with pumpkins. I have also shared about my own uncomfortable experience with talking about sex with my father on the longest road trip of my life. I’ve even shared about my experience with visiting New York during pride month last year and navigating conversations about that with my children. Currently, however, more than sex, we’re focusing on speaking openly about puberty.
When my kids ask me what the word “puberty” means I define it as “the time in which your brain and body go under construction to go from being a child to being an adult.” This process obviously takes some time and during that time their prefrontal cortex remains “under construction” for years! Did you fall asleep yet, because they definitely did! Different hormones are released into your body which send new messages to your body parts to grow in size, or to grow hair, or to release smells that they have not released before and it can be tricky and pretty smelly, let’s be honest!. I always tell my kids to let me know when they start to sweat under their armpits, or seem to be stinky after exercising so that we can get them some deodorant–it is far better for them to be the first to notice than it is for their friends to notice. I’ve even told my kids that they can let their friends know that they wear deodorant if they feel like their friends might need to start wearing deodorant too.
When I was in 5th grade I played soccer during recess and at the end of a game one of my friends said, “What is that SMELL!?!” We all smelled ourselves and I totally realized that it was ME!!!
And now you know why I have these conversations with our kids!!! HA!
My 8 year old will often make fun of my 14 year old for the hair on his legs and armpits, and we just let her know that it’ll be coming her way soon enough! We are not flippant about the subject, as we don’t want our kids to feel self-conscious about it, but really, knowledge is power. The more kids know about what is coming their way, the better they’ll be prepared to handle whatever it is that comes! If we normalize discussions about changes in our bodies, periods starting, smells emerging, and hairs growing, maybe we can help combat the general feeling of embarrassment that often comes with puberty. Tweens and teens have enough to worry about, let us be a source of comfort in embracing the changes ahead! And may the purchasing of deodorant begin!!
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Kayleen
