Just a couple of weeks ago, my 13 year old 8th grader was asked to write a commentary for class. He chose to write it on phones. When he was in 6th grade I asked him how many of his classmates had phones, he said not quite half. That percentage went up a lot in 7th grade, to about 70%, and last year he said he and a couple of his friends were the only 8th graders without phones. Don’t get me wrong, he will end up having a phone, I recognize that it is coming. We decided in our family to hold off on having phones as long as we could. I realize that everyone deals with this situation differently. There are definite pros and cons to giving your child a phone. When my son chose to write his commentary about phone use from the perspective of a person without a phone in a sea of kids looking down at one, I was fascinated. With his permission, I am sharing with you a portion of his essay.
“Why Phones Have Gone Too Far
Isaak Vaughan | Middle School | May 16, 2022
Isaak Vaughan is a Middle School student who gets really annoyed when people look at their phones instead of paying attention to him.
Have you ever looked at the person next to you and thought, what the heck are they doing on their phone? No, of course you haven’t, because you are also staring at your phone, and you know exactly what they are doing, because they just texted it to you, even though you are sitting right next to them. Well, from my experience as a person not owning a phone, that thought runs through my head every time I see someone whip their phone out. Or when they try to hide it from the teacher. Or when… well you get the idea.
I mean, honestly, trying to look at your phone in class? What about social media is so important that you have to look at it instead of actually paying attention? Why not try that for a change? You might actually learn something that could be important later in life, or on the upcoming test…
Have you ever thought about the importance of boredom? Boredom helps us be creative. If you are bored, you have to think of something to do. You have to be creative. People do not get bored often, because they can just look at their phone. They don’t have to worry about actually finding something to do. It’s finding what to do that awakens our creativity.
One of the things that I think is really sad is that we have to take executive functioning skills lessons in school. People are losing their ability to think critically, because when they are bored, they just take out their phone. Boom, instant entertainment.
The depression and anxiety rates in the United States are literally insane. Several studies have shown that there is a link between depression, anxiety, and social media. People are worried that they will miss out on important conversations, or are stressed that not enough people like their social media posts. People get depressed because people they don’t even know, who maybe live in a completely different country, forgot to click the like button. Or didn’t really like your post. People care that much about what other people think?
I asked several people how they felt about phones, and most of the people said that they are “crucial to our society today.” Are cell phones really that important to our lives? Yes they allow great communication and we can do great things with them, but they are not crucial to our survival. I don’t have a phone and I have survived through middle school. (and elementary school too) stop believing that phones are needed to survive in society today.
Phones are great. They really are. We can do amazing things with today’s technology. But they have gone too far. People care too much about social media. People! Go outside! Try something new. actually talk to friends in person instead of preferring to text them. Get bored. Be creative. Learn something new in school. Don’t spend the rest of your life staring at your phone.”
After reading his article, I asked him if he wanted a phone or not. As a side note, I KNOW that he does, I mean, who wouldn’t want a screen to stare at and get information immediately and mess around with your friends via texts and etc? I response to me he shrugged and said, “Yes and no. Yes because everyone has one and it would be nice to get a hold of people with them. No because I’m afraid I’ll become a zombie like everyone else.” This conversation was really telling for me.
I let him know that we always have a choice and, really, the choice we make just needs to have a plan to follow in order to be disciplined enough to continue to make it.
My son will likely get a phone in the next year or so. We will have a contract that we both sign with stipulations of his owning a phone and its use.
After our conversation I realized that I might want to make a contract for my own phone usage. I’d also like to make sure I don’t become a zombie–here’s to fighting the real zombie apocalypse that is upon us!!
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Kayleen
It’s definitely a love-hate relationship with phones and teenagers. Trying to help them find balance while not showing overusage yourself is hard! When you figure it out please post it! 😉 Wonderful son you have Kayleen ❤️
Phones are amazing and so tricky! I think we all are working to have a good balance Angela! Thanks for stopping by! Hugs! Kim