“I am speed. One winner, 42 losers. I eat losers for breakfast.” We all smiled at Lightening McQueen’s pre-race pep talk. Who knew that it is actually the same thing we do before our own races, sporting events, musical performances, or tests. Often before setting out to do something we already have decided how it will turn out. We feel nervous, we tell ourselves we’re not good enough or not going to make it. Or we feel anxious and think, “I can do this!! I will own it!!” The saying, “If you think you can, you can, If you think you can’t, you can’t” is so true!
This week I shared with my kids a popular short video clip of a little girl standing in front of her bathroom mirror giving herself amazing affirmations. “I am amazing! I love my curls! I love my family! I am strong!!” It is adorable and really endearing and awe-inspiring to consider the confidence of that little human! Now, if we were to watch a video of an adult doing that, how would that change our outlook? Would we think they were a little crazy? Self-absorbed even? Or would we rejoice in their confidence and celebrate the accomplishments sure to come about that day? Really, we need to remember to encourage adults to speak kindly to themselves just as much as we encourage kids to do it–but that’s a topic for another day.
Following the little girl’s mirror pep-talk, I then shared with them a short video clip of a 9 year old boy that was attempting to scale a wall at gymnastics. He tried over and over again to get it and just couldn’t do it. After several attempts and feeling fatigued he came to his dad and said, “I can’t do it.” To which his father replied, “No, you can! Say it! ‘I can do it!’ ” The boy repeated half-heartedly, “I can do it.” The dad then said, “I am strong.” The boy, with more conviction, said, “I am strong!” The dad, “I run fast, I will reach it!” The boy, “I run fast, I will reach it!!” The boy then tried again to scale the wall…..and totally did it!!! The way we talk to ourselves matters. It can mean the difference between success and failure.
So, after having shared these small clips with my people on Monday, on Wednesday of this week my oldest daughter had an indoor soccer game. She is the youngest on her team by a year or more, and this team is new to her. She joined to get into shape for the regular outdoor spring season. She is a good athlete, but sometimes I can see her self-talk showing. Always on the drive to her games I playfully push her a little and say things like, “You are going to be AWESOME today!! You will be strong and win the ball and kick it so hard!!” She most often jokes back by saying something to the effect of, “maybe,” or “possibly,” or, “that could happen.” We usually laugh about it. This week, however, I said, “Nope, you gotta say it out loud. You gotta own it and just admit that you want it and you can get it!!” After further cajoling, she said it, while sheepishly smiling. All good. I don’t care if she feels a little self-conscious while giving her own Lightening McQueen pep talk, just as long as she does it! I will tell you that she played differently that night. She was more aggressive, faster to the ball, and even scored a goal. She left it all out on the field. Total win. Afterward, I hugged her and told her that her positive self-talk was showing!! She laughed, but really, I hope she felt the difference of prepping her brain and body for success over questioning her abilities!!
Now, I realize that you cannot talk yourself into being the fastest and strongest ever, but you can talk your mind into trying harder, playing better, and focusing more on the tasks at hand. We all need a pep-talk sometimes, and will often find that when we are alone before doing a hard thing we may have doubts. Let’s replace those doubts with confidence and excitement. Here’s to channeling our inner-Lightening McQueen and teaching our kids to do the same!!
Kayleen
