Anyone sitting on the fence about the importance of romance, this post is for you.
The Gottman’s are a powerhouse therapist couple who have studied all aspects of love, including it’s demise. One of their instructions for being an enduring happy couple is to do “small things often.” Meaning consistent small acts of kindness, compliments, and small gifts keep a relationship vibrant, sparkly even! Just the intentional act of looking at your partner and actively listening helps a relationship to be strengthened!
The definition of romance is: “a feeling of excitement and mystery associated with love.” However, I like the second definition better: “a quality or feeling of mystery, excitement and remoteness from everyday life.” (Oxford Language Dictionary via Google) There it is again: romance transports and lifts above the everyday!
I know lots of people don’t like Valentine’s day. They feel constrained to jump through the hoops dictated by the holiday. I, on the other hand, love that I can give the crossing guard at my kid’s school a paper heart and some chocolate and it’s perfectly acceptable! More than that, it celebrates the simple human connection we all share! Sweetness.
Now that you know the why you should do a little something for the person who sets your heart a flutter (or has in the past). It comes down to this: romance is the candy store for adults. It is the sweet wonder that brings a smile and maybe a giggle, and allows you to get back to work, knowing there is something better outside the fray.
- Do the unexpected! Have you ever run to the grocery store on Valentine’s day? There is a rather tragic hilarity in seeing long lines of humans trying to check out with various arrangements of flowers, a teddy bear under the arm and a box of chocolates in the cart. Instead of doing something on the day, what about bringing home your love’s favorite dinner on February 10th? You are guaranteed a better reaction because you thought of it AHEAD of time and you did the unexpected! How about a picnic in the living room with your favorite take out? Fun! Unexpected and transporting! Romance! Hooray! Don’t forget in all of this to put a reminder in your phone to do something transporting on March 6th, a random act on un unexpected day is better than an expected one!
- Know Your LOVE’s love: What fills the bucket of your loved one? My husband loves acts of service. He particularly appreciates when I take care of a task he needs to have done! That speaks to his heart. It alleviates his stress and helps him feel loved. There was a learning curve to this. I threw a couple surprise parties before I realized he did NOT like that! Oops! That was a delicate conversation to have, with careful feelings on both sides. Now I know! No to surprise parties, yes to acts of service. I like quality time, but I also like a good kind act! One time, after being gone on a school trip for the weekend, I came home and my hubby had cleaned the bathroom, and left a note that said “I hope this counts as flowers! I Love you!” It totally counted! I value a clean house, and coming home to a clean bathroom and the love note was as good as flowers. Small acts of love might be just the thing! Does your partner love to get away? Plan a trip or a staycation, just putting a little thought into things ahead of time nurtures and fosters love! What does your sweetheart love?
- Start a Tradition: Sometimes the hardest things about a celebration of love is just thinking of the idea! Have you seen our love note journals? Oh man, it’s the best idea! It’s the card that continues to give for each occasion. Boom! Card taken care of, and you never lose the evidence of your consistent romance over time. Another tradition: A friend of mine always buys his wife Bath and Body for Valentine’s Day. Hooray, the decision is made, and she looks forward to it every year. Could you splurge on some kind of tickets every Valentine’s day? Perhaps a favorite concert, or tickets to see a comedian, tickets to see a Broadway Musical or perhaps tickets to see a new movie coming out. The event doesn’t have to be on Valentine’s Day, just present the tickets then and write in the love note journal! A fun date is planned and now you get to look forward to it! What tradition could work for the two of you?
One of my most memorable moments of romance and kindness from my husband happened on a random day! On the way home from work one evening, he stopped at a craft store and picked up a cutting machine, I’d had my eye on for months. It was not my birthday, no where near Christmas or Valentine’s day. It was a just because. That sweet surprise years ago left an impact that still has positive ripples. (More gift ideas for men Here and everyone Here)
Small things often are magical for nurturing love. Valentine’s day just gives you an excuse to do another little thing to strengthen something beautiful! Add some sparkle that nurtures your relationship! Happy Valentine’s Day! Happy Romance!
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