My maiden name is Green. Kayleen Green–what a great name! My husband and I got married in California and had our honeymoon in San Diego. We moved to Utah right after as I had 1 year left of school up there. After we moved I went to go get my name changed at the Social Security office. It was right before I had to go to work and the line was crazy. I walked in and immediately walked out. I had to get to work, after all. Fast forward almost 2 years later and we have our first baby. I remember filling out the paperwork for my son’s birth certificate and realized, although I went by my married name, my legal documents all had my maiden name on them and now my son did not share my same name. I didn’t love that, so I found myself at the social security office again, only now with a 6 week old in tow. My little guy was totally good while we were waiting…until he wasn’t. So, I left, again. From that point on my husband would occasionally tease me that I wasn’t fully committed to the marriage as I hadn’t even changed my name yet! It took me almost 6 years and 3 kids to finally commit and change my name! Don’t judge me!
Fast forward to now, the mother of 6, I can see so clearly the benefits of early preparation. I have one son that will wait to the last minute to do everything, until he is panicked into finishing it all on time. And, unfortunately, most of the time, it works out for him. I say “unfortunately,” because if it always works out, he’ll never have the motivation to change how he does things–believe me, I know! I see myself in him so much and I cringe to think of all the stress I could have avoided by starting things earlier.
Conversely, I have a daughter that starts as soon as she knows she’s required to do something. New piano piece to play for next week? Better get to it today. Really big assignment due at the end of the month? There’s no time like the present to get it done. Needing to wear a certain outfit for a concert? Gonna go look for it in her drawers right now. She is pretty amazing at it. I will say, that it is a lot less stressful as a parent to see your kids getting things done in a timely fashion. I will also say, however, that this particular son tends to do better under pressure than my daughter. Don’t get me wrong, she does fine still, but when a deadline is upon him, it’s like the added pressure allows him to focus more and perform better, while my daughter feels overwhelmed and gets nervous.
I appreciate that she knows herself well enough to choose to do things early as that allows her to be prepared and clear-headed. I also appreciate that my son can handle the stress of an impending deadline by rising up to the challenge of it. I see now the benefit of knowing how to procrastinate and knowing how to prioritize preparation by starting early.
All of this to say, my daughter is better about getting things done than I am. She has helped me start things earlier. Because I know she hates being late, we’ll leave extra early for events to assuage her concerns. It’s been good for me to learn these things, because it’s easier for me to do it for her than it was to choose to do it for myself.
However, I must admit, while I shake my head at my son a good amount, I have to admire the fact that he gets it done. It may not be as pretty as it should be, but it will be creative.
I know I need to help him start things earlier…but I’m not likely to get to it today…maybe I’ll do it next week…
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Kayleen
