One day at the grocery store as I stood in line watching the cashier ring up my food, the bagger–an older gentlemen looked at my 10 year old daughter and asked, “What’s the most interesting thing you learned in school today?” After initially being caught off-guard she then thoughtfully began to answer, mentioning some things about the book they had just completed. He then asked what her favorite subject was in school, following up with, “And what is your very favorite thing to do at recess?” My daughter just chatted away with him as he bagged and listened. When my 6 year old daughter came over to stand next to us he asked her, “What was happy about your day!?” She beamed and excitedly answered about some games she played and friends she was with. I totally smiled as I watched this interaction.
He did not mention their pretty hair, their cute shoes, or their nice shirts. No notice was made of their appearance. It was a breath of fresh air!
Now, I think my girls are beautiful, no doubt. But we live in a world where they will constantly be reminded that how they look matters more than how they think, what they feel, or what things they enjoy doing. I am doing my best to raise strong, independent women (and men!!!). I deeply appreciate when others help them see the worth they hold outside of their pretty smiles and sparkling eyes.
Although I try to engage other kids in conversation outside of appearances, it is easy to fall back on giving a quick compliment about curly locks or cute shoes instead of asking insightful questions that make them think and engage back.
He finished placing the groceries in our cart, with my girls rushing to help out. We were all smiling as we exchanged “goodbyes” and I left better for having interacted with this gentleman. Since that experience we have seen him a handful of times and each time he makes eye contact and engages with any one of my kids. One time just my 13 year old was with me and he said, “Want to get your mom to trust you?” My son said, “Yeah.” The gentleman replied with, “Start waking up on your own. Get your homework done before she reminds you, and if she does remind you, do it right then.” And inside my head I yelled, “PREACH!!!” Ha! My point is, this man makes an impact with such a short amount of time. Each time we’ve interreacted with him we are better off for it!
The moral of this story is that this man has become a part of my village. He does not babysit for my children and isn’t on any emergency contact list. He does leave an impression when they see him and has helped inspire me to do the same when I meet other kids…which is pretty much daily. I have come to realize and appreciate those that I may not have considered part of my village before.
I hope to positively influence those kids that I meet that I may see only once! And on the days that I don’t feel clever or up for it, I can at the very least give a friendly smile and say, “Hello!” I hope that when my children interact with you that they also come away better for it. I would love to have you as part of my village. Because kids are paying attention. Even at the grocery store.
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Kayleen
I really enjoyed reading this post. It made me think on my ‘village’ of charitable people that have brightened and even rescued a moment in time for me. You write from the heart and I like that!
Thank you NB for stopping by! Aren’t we all so grateful for the people who influence us for the good? 🙂