When I was 11 or 12 years old, my dad signed me up for a volleyball league. I had played soccer for years and loved it. I’d also played basketball and really enjoyed it, so when he asked me if I wanted to give volleyball a try, I agreed. I had every confidence that I would do well. I was athletic and felt like I was pretty tough from having 5 older brothers. I had played volleyball in P.E. and was decent. My first practice I was excited and did ok. All the girls on my team had been on that team together for 4 or 5 years. Volleyball was their sport, the only thing they played. I tried to integrate with them, but they were pretty closely knit. I did pretty well setting and spiking the ball. When it came time to serve the ball overhand, however, I was not great. I could serve underhand ok, but I couldn’t get the overhand serve down. I was new and for the first time while playing a sport, I felt like the weak link. It was obvious that I hadn’t played as long as the other girls. I was self-conscious and began to hate going to volleyball. I wanted to quit, but knew that my dad wouldn’t have it, so I kept going. I would love to tell you that I ended up being a rock star volleyball player and totally knocked everyone’s socks off with my extreme athleticism, but really, I just made it through the season. I made some good digs, decent spikes, and helped sub. I mostly didn’t want to be there, but I showed up. I didn’t play another season of volleyball. I did end up playing soccer for several more years, though. My point is, I learned to make the best of the situation that I found myself in. I had agreed to go and participate on the team. I didn’t enjoy it–probably mostly due to my own pride, but I didn’t give up and I fulfilled my commitment. I also became more aware of the need to be kind to include the new person on the team, or in the class.
In our home we talk about discipline a lot. Someone said, “Discipline is doing the thing you said you would do long after the desire to do it has past.” We all have done it–said we would do something and then when it came time to do it didn’t want to. Maybe agreed to bring dinner to someone, show up to a get-together, host a party, or even start working out regularly. My kids probably feel it the most when it comes time to practice their chosen instruments. There are a few things that I really want to instill in my children, and follow-through on commitments is one of them. This can take the form of anything from watering a neighbor’s lawn when they’re gone on vacation to turning in their homework on time, to not giving up on a sport season when you decide you don’t love it. If they have said that they will do the thing, if others are counting on them to do the thing, then they need to do the thing. Really, we all need to learn to do the thing!!
Here are 3 ways to help you and your kids keep their commitments.
- Remember why you made the commitment in the first place. Commitments are like goals that we’ve set for ourselves. Why did we say that we’d do it?
- Find something to look forward to for after the commitment is complete. Maybe it’s getting back into your pjs once you’re done, or even just the feeling of relief from having fulfilled your commitment!! Yea you!!
- You do not have to want to do something in order to get it done. Read that sentence. I say this all the time. I ask my kids to get something done, they say, “I don’t want to,” I respond with, “Lucky you! You don’t have to want to in order to do it!! So the quicker you get it done the sooner you can stop not wanting to do it!!” Yep, I’m mean, and they still love me…sometimes! 🙂
Now, please know that I am not suggesting that you do everything regardless of how you are feeling. If you are sick or otherwise unwell, by all means, notify whomever you need to and just get better. I’m saying, let us make that the exception and not the rule. Let us bring back the reliability of someone’s word. And, chances are good that once we go to do it, we’ll be glad that we did! Turns out that I really like playing volleyball, I just needed to try playing with different people! But I’m glad for the experience that first season gave me.
So, if you said you’d do the thing, get out there and do it!!
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Kayleen
